1) Pick the right person to do this with
I will say it over and over again, the only true way to survive long distance is to have a person who makes the distance worth it. I have been in a few long distance relationships before, and nothing has ever been worth all the pain.
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| An older picture of the man and I |
This is sad to say, but true: this will be very hard. It will test your relationship and test you. There will be nights that you might just want to cry because you miss that person. But once you realize that it will be hard and that it is ok to cry and feel sad sometimes, it will be a lot more bearable.
3) Have an ending in sight
Long distance becomes much easier if you have a plan on when the distance will be shortened. Whether that is after college, after marriage, or whatever, having a timeline will make the finish line seem nearer and more bearable. I know I visualized us in our little apartment a many of tear-filled nights.
4) Text often
No, not in a stalker way. But sending cute and personal texts during the day really helped me feel so much more connected to the man. Sending picture texts is even better, as it made me feel like I was right there with him. Even if it was just a picture of a yummy dinner he was eating, it made me feel closer. Maybe I'm just a weirdo...
5) Have Video Chat dates
This was one of the best parts of being apart. Once every week or two, we would try to schedule a half a day or so to spend on Skype of Google+. Usually we would try and get dolled up, plan on having a similar dinner, and just spend the day talking, watching movies together, and hanging out. It was a wonderful way to keep out connection strong.
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| A video chat date...yeah, we're cute |
Ladies, most guys will be thrilled if you suggest online gaming with him. While we did not get to do this too much, the few times we did were a blast! We played Farkle (a fun dice game) on Facebook while on the phone, or played some games on the apps on Google+ chat. It was a fun way for us to be competitive with each other (a big part of our relationship).
7) Read the bible together
One of my favorite ways to be connected to the man was to read God's word together. We would read a chapter or two every night over the phone and talk about what we read. Not only was it a way to bond with each other, but we got to bond with God more AND keep each other accountable for reading the bible.
8) Pray together
This was an idea that came along later in our relationship, but it was a wonderful addition. Before we get off the phone, we try to remember to say a prayer together. Another way to bond with each other and God, as well as keep each others' prayer lists on our minds.
9) Keep busy and take advantage of the time apart.
This might sound mean, but there are some advantages to being apart. You do have a lot more time to spend with friends, and should utilize that when you can. There will be a time when friendships won't be as easy to maintain (such as when you move a few states away for your man's job...), and this is the time to enjoy those friendships. Also, keeping busy is one of the best ways to keep from going crazy from missing them. It keeps the lingering pain away, even if for a little while.
10) Remember why you're doing this.
Look at old pictures of each other. Play old voice mails to hear their voice (am I the only odd ball who does this?). Cuddle in the sweatshirt of theirs that they gave you (I highly recommend having something of theirs to keep with you). Whatever you do, remember all those feelings of being together and why you are going through the distance.
Doing these things, and many more, have helped the man and I cope with being so far apart. And as the wedding is getting near, I am really noticing what a short season apart it really was and how worth it it was.
If you ever need any long distance relationship advice, leave a comment. I am always here to chat.
Love and Blessings,
Annmarie Faye
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