Wednesday, July 17, 2013

My Issue with "Modesty"

Being a "conscientious dresser" is a new thing to me. Not that I ever wore a g-string and corset in public, but really being aware of what I wear and how it is perceived is something that never occurred to me.

It wasn't until I stared reading blogs of Christian woman trying to be "modest" that it really put it on my heart to consider how my dress affects myself and others. These were very inspiring, but also lead me to realize how much I do not like the word modest.

Don't get me wrong, modesty is a wonderful idea. And others using the word is fine by me. But for myself, "modesty" seems to only be thought of as involving clothing. But according to, modesty means "the quality of being modest" (duh) "freedom from vanity, boastfulness; a regard for decency of behavior, speech and dress; simplicity; moderation."

So modesty is much more than how you dress. It is an issue of the heart. And for me, the heart is much more important than what amount of cleavage one deems appropriate, or what length of shorts makes that person a hoochie mama. The true matter is if your heart is truly rooted in God, because if it is, your actions will follow.

So for myself, "modesty" will be a word I use rarely. I think it leads to the danger of being legalistic about dress ("that skirt is 1.5 inches above the knew, and only 1 inch above is modest, ew) and focuses more on our own self than God.

For myself, I am working to let my entire life be a light for God. That should include my actions, words, and yes, my dress. But without the heart of doing it for God, all I'm doing is wearing a maxi dress with a cold heart.

My church outfit. Maxi dresses don't make a godly woman! But I do really like them  for prettiness :)

So yes, I see the draw to modesty. And I strive to dress in a way that is goldy. But I feel that there are bigger issues for me personally than the exact inseam of my pants.

Hypocritically, I found this online, and while I am not a fan of rules or legalism (I'm a religious hippie I guess), these are some good guidelines for myself to dress conscientiously. That is the key for me, to be conscious of what I'm wearing, but not obsessive.

So there are my two cents on the word "modesty." Comment and share your view, I'd love to hear!

Love and blessings, 

Annmarie Faye


  1. I love what you've had to say on this topic. You made me rethink some of the clothes I wear myself, so thank you :) I've enjoyed reading your posts!
    -Makayla Kissel

    1. I wish I had rethought my wardrobe a long time ago! Glad I could help and I'm so glad you enjoy reading :)

  2. Annmarie you always look beautiful. Just remember that you don't ever need to listen to what people say just what God thinks. Keep writing please I enjoy it so.

    Love you - Tia

    1. Thanks Mama Kleis! Good reminder, as long as God is happy, that's what matters. Thanks so much! That means a lot, makes me feel like I'm not writing for nobody haha.